O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
