So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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