ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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