super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
