Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
