your room smells of hookers.
And success
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
