how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
