You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
