Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
