Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
