im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
