so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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