I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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