Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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  (901): Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/fpgv
  Replies (16) Good night (3515) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you

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  (978): There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you http://tfl.nu/oh5b
  Replies (10) Good night (4554) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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  (905): The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty. http://tfl.nu/9wi8
  Replies (100) Good night (12442) Bad night (2022)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone

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  (516): i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone http://tfl.nu/1arh
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (3152)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.

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  (773): I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word. http://tfl.nu/3o13
  Replies (17) Good night (5024) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.

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  (336): i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later. http://tfl.nu/c2qt
  Replies (5) Good night (3232) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.

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  (360): Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why. http://tfl.nu/20py
  Replies (8) Good night (5689) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

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  (253): No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions http://tfl.nu/59zh
  Replies (11) Good night (2392) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended

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  (317): She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended http://tfl.nu/jhzt
  Replies (14) Good night (1104) Bad night (3255)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

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  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5875) Bad night (1901)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese

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  (414): I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese http://tfl.nu/evtb
  Replies (8) Good night (1057) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.

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  (616): Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me. http://tfl.nu/rp8b
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.

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  (336): Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully. http://tfl.nu/zl7k
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.

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  (206): I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy. http://tfl.nu/7x4i
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.

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  (901): I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck. http://tfl.nu/x3qh
  Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (415)

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