How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....