I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
