Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today