Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1559) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys. http://tfl.nu/wntn
  Replies (73) Good night (7610) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do. http://tfl.nu/qkwv
  Replies (16) Good night (985) Bad night (3723)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night. http://tfl.nu/qv6r
  Replies (6) Good night (788) Bad night (4335)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12 http://tfl.nu/xbs4
  Replies (12) Good night (3830) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight... http://tfl.nu/8zew
  Replies (1) Good night (3384) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl
  Replies (28) Good night (8347) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult http://tfl.nu/ufyx
  Replies (6) Good night (1934) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too? http://tfl.nu/ln8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1412) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (464): View more from Illinois

  He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (464): He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit. http://tfl.nu/lyxm
  Replies (10) Good night (2531) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question... http://tfl.nu/p1j1
  Replies (8) Good night (1170) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now. http://tfl.nu/la5k
  Replies (5) Good night (980) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it. http://tfl.nu/fb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven. http://tfl.nu/19wc
  Replies (3) Good night (1424) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober? http://tfl.nu/dhkh
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (476)

Randomize