Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

I'm scared

(337): View more from Louisiana

There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.

(972): View more from Texas

That's what I'm afraid of

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(757): View more from Virginia

Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.

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(253): View more from Washington

Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

what type of emt are you

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.

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(323): View more from California

He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.

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