If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
