I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
