I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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