actually, I'm a sock model
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize