Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
