peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
