White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
