Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is the high leading the old right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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