if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize