Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
