Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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