just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
