I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
