just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
