There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
