Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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