Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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