Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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