I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
