This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
