nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
