Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
