Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
