I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize