U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My vagina just clenched in fear
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
