Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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