Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
