I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
