A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
