I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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