For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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