What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
a search helicopter?!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
