Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
