K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
