Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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