How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My ass is underappreciated
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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