i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
