Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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