so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
