It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i've created a new STD.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
