Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize