we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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