The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize