Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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