do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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