Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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