chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
