I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
