your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
