Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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