i just google imaged poop.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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