my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
